Why did I enrol on to a 10-day silent retreat?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

In my official capacity, being a husband, multiple business owner and a user of social media.

And in my unofficial capacity of being a reader, writer and sharing short video messages.

I bear a lot of responsibility. Yes, for others around me, but first and foremost for myself.

Namely in processing the day to day and making decisions. The challenge I face is, with these many inputs coming in on a daily basis from:

  • Wife <3
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Business A
  • Business B
  • Business C
  • Future business
  • Being coached
  • Being Mentored
  • Reading
  • Absorbing information from Social Media

How on earth do I know if my thoughts and decisions are truly my own? Or based on my own limiting beliefs and/or human bias (that we all face).

So how does one take a step closer to understanding their own mind?

It is two part – 1. Remove the inputs (silence) and 2. Ensure the meditative practice excludes religious bias, spiritual bias, chanting, anchoring, speaking, comparing (Vipassana – by the way is the meditative practice I am enrolled on to).

(as a bonus, simplifying clothing and food so that for 10 days, these daily choices do not create a distraction).

Therefore, I am left with just myself and my own mind.

I rarely do things of a whim, because it sounds fun, or it’s the latest fad. I dive into a period of research and then make a decision quickly. Either it’s a yes or no.

This was one of those decisions that I spent longer on the ‘don’t do it side’ (You wouldn’t believe the excuses that my mind conjured up towards avoidance). Not only because I will be off the grid for 10 days but because I will be off the grid for 10 days, by myself.

(Keep an eye out for a future post on my experience – no guarantee I will share as this will depend on the intimacy of the outcome).


What happens when you go the extra mile?

Reading Time: 1 minute

Typically, I would use a business example here. But there are so many out there who just kept going and unintentionally became household names.

  • JK Rowling
  • Oprah
  • Jeff Bezoz
  • Jack Ma
  • Elon Musk

But what does that look like in someone’s everyday life? I and my wife joked on holiday recently. That every time we applied that principle on holiday, we found something magical.

Driving just 15 minutes (literally extra miles) beyond the tourist beaches of Croatia (which were very busy) we always found the most isolated beaches with very few people on them.

Follow my Instagram at www.instagram.com/toortalks to check out some of those beaches and keep an eye out for a future travel blog from Croatia.

The message of today’s blog is, the extra mile isn’t something special only the richest and most famous people experience. It occurs in everyday life.

  • Venturing beyond everyone else to find a new beach
  • Walking an extended route, when most people turn left to loop back around, you keep walking straight
  • Sending the extra email
  • Reading those extra few pages
  • Or in my case, this very moment – writing an additional post

What are you doing tomorrow? What can you do to go that extra mile?


Are we living in the worst time in history?

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The challenge we face now is, there is an appearance that the world is in a worse of place. Often it appears as if:

  • Nature is being destroyed
  • The planet is being destroyed
  • Economies failing
  • Democracies breaking down
  • Technology making humans irrelevant
  • Terrorism

Yet in actual fact it is the best time to be alive. Ever.

In the book Enlightenment Now, one of the discussion points the author highlights is the idea that, the news reports on events that occur in the immediate.

That means the event is noteworthy. The incident is normally isolated and appears to define everything around us, as it is placed in direct contrast to day to day life, we are living in.

In simple terms. Bad news is easy to report, its fast and there is something always happening.

Whereas good news takes years, decades and even entire generations to come to fruition.

  • Clean running water
  • Global connectivity
  • Convenience
  • Transport
  • Medicine
  • Automation
  • Electric Vehicles
  • The simple fact that there are no global wars, where young men and women get shipped off to protect a nation

The things we now take for granted are the result of years and years of incremental progress. Which doesn’t make for much of a news article. Especially because many of the good being done in the world is scientific.

I guess the message is, sure, read the news. But put it into context.


Why do we feel lonely?

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There is much talk of the internet creating a physical human disconnect amongst young (and even the older generation).

The introduction of an online world, social media and even video games are so real that it requires no physical human interaction.

Without a doubt every human being needs connectivity to achieve a higher level of human fulfilment.

But the first step to curing loneliness is not to go seek out other people. But actually, to seek out yourself.

Wayne Dyer explains: ‘You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.’

People who generally have to spend prolonged periods alone:

Writers, artists, scientists, parents of new born children.

I also believe freelancers; new age business owners and entrepreneurs also now fall into this category.

Why do these people appear to be able to manage being alone for such long periods of time?

It is most certainly they like the person they are alone with.

Did they always like the person they were alone with? Unlikely.

Did they work towards liking the person they were alone with? Likely.